Friday, December 17, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
The Fog
Dense cold fogs consume my being
Threatening now to do me harm
Falling deeper without flailing
Notice all without alarm
Quietly the darkness deepens
Silently it robs my night
Morning should relieve the sadness
But it dawns devoid of light
Colder now my soul is shaking
Bolder now the darkness seems
Chilled and broken and forsaken
What does all this torture mean?
Sinking slowly never rising
Breath my lungs refuse to make
Beating slower ever slower
Is it my life you wish to take?
written 11/14/10 Sequim, WA
By Todd Royce Gubler
The Dark's Demise
Leave I say you have no place here
Light is all I care to see
Go from me you dark cold none-ness
Go away now let me be
Blocked you’ve had me for to long now
Chained in your cold shackles tight
But you underestimated greatly
Had you thought I would not fight
Foolish darkness know ye not me?
Know ye not the foe you’ve made?
Battle time is now upon you
Feel the sting of Light’s sword blade
Light unleashed destroys your hold now
Just like light over takes the night
Just a candle and your spell is broken
Get thee hence now, feel my light
Brightness you can never conquer
See it now it’s in my EYES
Make a note and never falter
I will be the dark’s demise!
written 11/14/10 Sequim, WA
By Todd Royce Gubler
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
ReSet- getting off the fence again!
My channels of inspiration have to be spot on for me to write...its been way to long since I started this blog and I have been waiting to get more of my writings up before I put it out, but its just time to throw the ball and see where it lands. Read whats here...if you like it follow it...if it inspires you, share it....if it amuses you ..laugh...I don't care what you do, just make a difference today in your life and someone else' and we will all create a better world and brighter futures...Live inspired.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
The Mind of Time - Poetry of Life Series
The Mind of Time
By Todd Royce Gubler
10/17/09
By the glow of a fire and to the tick of a clock
I sit and ponder my life
The pendulum swinging the fire logs so red
I file through the mess of my thought
Time has escaped me just like that red flame
Seconds to minutes to years
Yesterday I was romping and playing in school
Now I am growing gray hairs
The mind all our master has logged all events
Passion, sadness, and Joy
The clock strikes the hour the fire light dims
Moments forever employed
Silence as the Strike arm recoils between chimes
A paused moment of suspended thought
Time seems to freeze as the strike arm pulls back
Memories forgotten or not
Years, moments, flashbacks, great hurt and jubilee
Then the chime strikes again and sets that moment free
The fire cracks and the ticking again is heard
Master time must again move on
By the tick of the clock and the glow of the fire
My life ponders me now it seems
Scenes, visions, lessons on continuous loop
One must only slow down to see
The ticking so rhythmatic yet the fire dances free
What is it I am to have learned?
From seconds to seasons, Time will not be stopped
Burn fire, burn fire, burn
Green wood to glowing embers, is there really an end
Or is this where the story began?
By Todd Royce Gubler
10/17/09
By the glow of a fire and to the tick of a clock
I sit and ponder my life
The pendulum swinging the fire logs so red
I file through the mess of my thought
Time has escaped me just like that red flame
Seconds to minutes to years
Yesterday I was romping and playing in school
Now I am growing gray hairs
The mind all our master has logged all events
Passion, sadness, and Joy
The clock strikes the hour the fire light dims
Moments forever employed
Silence as the Strike arm recoils between chimes
A paused moment of suspended thought
Time seems to freeze as the strike arm pulls back
Memories forgotten or not
Years, moments, flashbacks, great hurt and jubilee
Then the chime strikes again and sets that moment free
The fire cracks and the ticking again is heard
Master time must again move on
By the tick of the clock and the glow of the fire
My life ponders me now it seems
Scenes, visions, lessons on continuous loop
One must only slow down to see
The ticking so rhythmatic yet the fire dances free
What is it I am to have learned?
From seconds to seasons, Time will not be stopped
Burn fire, burn fire, burn
Green wood to glowing embers, is there really an end
Or is this where the story began?
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The Orchard, a piece from 'Lessons I Learned While Climbing a Tree'
Lessons I Learned While Climbing a Tree
The Orchard
Low Lying Fruit
By Todd Royce Gubler
1/21/09
I remember driving through the countryside surrounding Hurricane, Utah with my grandmother admiring all the farms and commenting on the encroaching development. As we came along a foothill road at the base of a black lava rock hill we rounded a curve and there was the most picturesque view I have seen. A huge orchard sat about 20 feet below the road and went on for acres. It was in full spring bloom and from the vantage of the road it was simply a field of spectacular blooms as we were above the tops of all the trees here. I told my Grandma that that was now a dream of mine…to have a house overlooking a beautiful orchard like this. I can see it still now as I remember it in full detail. The fragrance was intoxicating. I have always loved fruit trees and this sight only further deepened my appreciation of their majestic and versatile beauty. My Grandparents had orchards and my Great Grandparents also, so I guess my love of orchards is somewhat genetic. I have so many memories and fruit trees and in my book, The Garden of My Heart, fruit trees, lining the drive, are one of the first mentioned plants of the Garden Dream. Just sitting here writing my mind is flooded with memories of fruit trees, my Dad’s and Grandparent’s. So many lessons come back to my memory that I learned from these trees.
Fruit trees have a versatility of beauty and purpose that inspires me on many levels for some reason. Spectacular spring blooms prelude a lovely the new spring green. Spring green progresses to fruiting in late spring, the bounty of harvest after the long winter is every gardener’s biggest thrill. The fruit decorates the tree with lovely splashes of ornamentation. The harvest over the tree then deepens the shade of its green and cools the earth beneath its reach. As fall approaches most fruit trees crescendo with vivid fall foliage. As the foliage falls, the often knarled and weathered boughs are often just as lovely naked as they are in their full glory. Add a dusting of snow and they somehow remain the show stoppers of the landscape. They are just incredible specimens of God’s love.
I had the privilege of putting up a fence on a landlord’s orchard one late spring. It was an old and neglected 100 acre cherry orchard on a bench above the Spanish Fork River in the country side east of Spanish Fork, Utah. Since the owner wished to eventually develop the land the trees were not cared for in the least, but as trees often do, despite the neglect, they managed to put all their energy into blooming and fruiting. These ancient cherry trees were laden not only with fruit but with magic. There was the most peaceful, serene energy in that old orchard. The knarled trunks of the trees, the tall deep green spring grass, the does and fawns that lived here in graceful solitude. One could not help but fall in love with the place. Oh, and the view, the view of the valley from that orchard. The rows of trees seemed to frame every vantage in absolute perfection. It was a privilege to work in this place as, to me, it was sacred, inspirational ground. Thinking back on that orchard brings back pleasant thoughts.
There was lots of fruit that needed to be harvested in a short period of time that year. The landlord had hired some local kids to come pick cherries and they basically were playing around and picking the low lying, reachable fruit. In desperation the landlord asked if I could help harvest. I was pleased to help. I strapped on a harvest bucket and climbed the tall three legged wobbly ladder used to harvest from the upper branches. I was amazed at how nice the fruit was up there. It was harder to get to but to me it tasted better. Maybe it was just that I appreciated being enfolded in the branches of these sacred majestic trees, but there was something special about the fruit that was out of reach to most. Maybe the tree reserved this fruit to feed and nourish the birds I thought, because surely a lot of this fruit would never be harvestable by mere humans. I harvest 6-8 times more fruit that day than any of those silly kids, and I know I had a wholly different experience than they did with the harvest. To me being there was sacred and magical. The moment is imprinted on my heart.
It is funny looking at life, how often do we as humans harvest only the low lying fruit and neglect to seek out and harvest that which lies out of easy reach, but is still just as obtainable with a little more effort. Let me share a parable of a Gardener.\
There was a man who bought a little home that had small yard. The man loved the house from the moment he first saw it and since it was priced within his budget he was willing to overlook the fact that it backed up to a busy thoroughfare and bus stop. He moved in and loved the house with all his heart and took pride in making the home more beautiful. He went to the nursery and bought a lovely apricot tree and planted it in the sunniest spot in the little yard, which just happened to be right against the back wall, in front of the bus stop. He thought it quite a clever spot as it would hopefully grow big enough one day to block out his view of the bus stop that he could see just over the top of his five foot fence. He planted the small tree with all the love and care that any good gardener could give it and even built a little flower bed around its base and filled it with blooming annuals. The tree slowly but surely grew and grew and grew.
The first couple of years the little tree produced only a few apricots, which the gardener easily picked and quickly consumed. Each year the meager harvest increased only slightly. Because he was so eager for the tree to produce more, he failed to thin the meager fruit while it was young and as the apricots ripened they bent the immature branches down. The gardener although proficient with annuals and that, had always lived in an apartment before and therefore knew nothing of pruning and thinning fruit trees, but still the little tree received plenty of nutrients, water, sun and love and therefore decided to thrive. Since the yard was so small the house shaded most of the little yard and the little tree naturally seeking and reaching for the light, reached ever so slightly towards the little bus stop and over the back fence. As the tree matured it soon had a majority of its boughs over the back fence and now provided a comfortable shade for the little bus stop along the busy thoroughfare. The gardener was pleased with the tree’s progress and this particular year the spring bloom of the little apricot trees was incredible. The white blooms filled the sky from the little window in the back of the house. They floated to the ground and blanket the yard with white fragrant petals. The gardener knew that this was going to be the year the fruit’s of his labor for all these years would be rewarded. The fruit set on, and as usual the gardener could not bear to thin out any of the young fruit. As it ripened the boughs of the tree became more and more burdened and the weight of all this bumper crop of fruit on the young limbs pulled them all downward. The fruit started to ripen in the sun but the gardener soon realized there was a new threat to this crop, the patrons of the little bus stop. As they waited in the shade of the tree it just seemed they could not help but to help themselves the yellowing fruit. At first he was amused watching them pluck the still unripe fruit and watching the looks on their faces as they realized it was not yet ripe and grimaced. It was cute the first few times but then he started to get annoyed by the casual waste of the fruit he had now prepared years to harvest. Occasionally he would run out and yell at the people to stop stealing his fruit. This didn’t help as he couldn’t police the fruit tree all day and sometimes after antagonizing the patrons the kids would pluck the fruit and use it to pelt the gardener’s house. Oh the waste of his harvest. With the majority of the tree hanging over the fence, and now with the harvest ripe, the weight of all that fruit only exaggerated this problem and the tree practically uprooted itself leaning over the short fence. The gardener went out and harvested in minutes the few low limbs on his side of the fence. He walked around to the bus stop side of the fence and was instantly dismayed. Half eaten fruit lay all over the ground and some of the branches on this side were so heavy they had broken. Other branches had been pulled down on to get to the fruit and badly broken off. On this side of the fence all the low lying fruit had been stripped off and mostly wasted. There was not one ripe apricot left within reach from the ground. The gardener was very sad. He thought to himself, “They have wasted my entire bumper crop harvest.” Then he looked up. “Wow,” he thought. Up in the top of the little tree it was orange with fruit still. He went back to his little house and retrieved his ladder and walked back around to the bus stop. He climbed up the ladder and filled three buckets with apricots from his little lovely tree. He took them home and ate a few and then made for the first time, apricot jelly. He filled his cupboard and even had enough to give to all his neighbors. He was thrilled. The extra effort had left him with the reward he had sought for so many years as the little tree had grown. Even without the low lying easy to reach fruit he had obtained what his heart had yearned for, and now having climbed the ladder he had seen and appreciated the growth of the tree in a completely new way. Cupboards full he enjoyed that jam for the rest of the year until the tree produced again. The top of that little tree kept the little gardener in jelly for the rest of his years in the house he loved.
I have heard people lament that they have not found their prince or princess charming and that therefore they must not exists or there must not be any good ones left. “All the good ones are already taken,” is a common expression one hears muttered in bitterness. Laughable to me as this is, it’s sadly too many a person’s belief. They all seek the low lying fruit which they sadly only see in someone else’s hand, the hand of someone who has actually gone and harvest from the tree of life. Some fail to even get off their computers, or to leave their house to ever even see if there any low lying fruit left. Others make it to the tree only to find, as the gardener in the parable, that the low lying branches had been stripped and the fruit casually wasted by the unworthy masses. . Often, like in the parable, the low lying fruit is harvested even before it has fully ripened because the untrained passersby sees a spot of color and picks the fruit takes a bite, realizes it’s not ripe and tosses it along the road. So much of the low lying fruit is plucked before its prime. The gardener that refuses to climb the ladder and scale a few branches will easily be disappointed and say, “This tree produces not enough”, or “the fruit is not good”. But the gardener that is willing to put in a little more effort, take a few more chances and invest a little hard work and time, will still, despite the fickle passersby, be able to harvest a sweet and savory bounty. Great things, good things, are rarely placed easily in our reach as we walk through and discover the orchards of life, sometimes we luck out and stubble across the undiscovered low lying limb full of good fruit but often we have to be willing to look up, reach higher, and work harder, to discover the true bounty of the harvest.
Go out into your yard or a park and stand at the base of a large tree and look up. How much of the tree is out of your reach? What percentage would you say statefully stands out of your reach? This is the magic of trees. They are never satisfied with mediocrity; they are always reaching further in hopes of capturing all the rays of the sun possible. If you feel the bounty of your life’s harvest is poor, look up, climb up, reach up, and you will soon find that there is a lot more tree to be harvested and discovered in your life yet. Standing on the ground it is easy to forget, but climb up a big tree just a bit and you soon realize they are even bigger once you get in them than they appear from the ground. Life will occasionally provide is with a low lying limb full of fruit, but the only harvest that will fill the bottles in the cupboard and feed the neighbors is found by harvesting the whole of the tree…reaching for the fruit that is out of reach.
The Orchard
Low Lying Fruit
By Todd Royce Gubler
1/21/09
I remember driving through the countryside surrounding Hurricane, Utah with my grandmother admiring all the farms and commenting on the encroaching development. As we came along a foothill road at the base of a black lava rock hill we rounded a curve and there was the most picturesque view I have seen. A huge orchard sat about 20 feet below the road and went on for acres. It was in full spring bloom and from the vantage of the road it was simply a field of spectacular blooms as we were above the tops of all the trees here. I told my Grandma that that was now a dream of mine…to have a house overlooking a beautiful orchard like this. I can see it still now as I remember it in full detail. The fragrance was intoxicating. I have always loved fruit trees and this sight only further deepened my appreciation of their majestic and versatile beauty. My Grandparents had orchards and my Great Grandparents also, so I guess my love of orchards is somewhat genetic. I have so many memories and fruit trees and in my book, The Garden of My Heart, fruit trees, lining the drive, are one of the first mentioned plants of the Garden Dream. Just sitting here writing my mind is flooded with memories of fruit trees, my Dad’s and Grandparent’s. So many lessons come back to my memory that I learned from these trees.
Fruit trees have a versatility of beauty and purpose that inspires me on many levels for some reason. Spectacular spring blooms prelude a lovely the new spring green. Spring green progresses to fruiting in late spring, the bounty of harvest after the long winter is every gardener’s biggest thrill. The fruit decorates the tree with lovely splashes of ornamentation. The harvest over the tree then deepens the shade of its green and cools the earth beneath its reach. As fall approaches most fruit trees crescendo with vivid fall foliage. As the foliage falls, the often knarled and weathered boughs are often just as lovely naked as they are in their full glory. Add a dusting of snow and they somehow remain the show stoppers of the landscape. They are just incredible specimens of God’s love.
I had the privilege of putting up a fence on a landlord’s orchard one late spring. It was an old and neglected 100 acre cherry orchard on a bench above the Spanish Fork River in the country side east of Spanish Fork, Utah. Since the owner wished to eventually develop the land the trees were not cared for in the least, but as trees often do, despite the neglect, they managed to put all their energy into blooming and fruiting. These ancient cherry trees were laden not only with fruit but with magic. There was the most peaceful, serene energy in that old orchard. The knarled trunks of the trees, the tall deep green spring grass, the does and fawns that lived here in graceful solitude. One could not help but fall in love with the place. Oh, and the view, the view of the valley from that orchard. The rows of trees seemed to frame every vantage in absolute perfection. It was a privilege to work in this place as, to me, it was sacred, inspirational ground. Thinking back on that orchard brings back pleasant thoughts.
There was lots of fruit that needed to be harvested in a short period of time that year. The landlord had hired some local kids to come pick cherries and they basically were playing around and picking the low lying, reachable fruit. In desperation the landlord asked if I could help harvest. I was pleased to help. I strapped on a harvest bucket and climbed the tall three legged wobbly ladder used to harvest from the upper branches. I was amazed at how nice the fruit was up there. It was harder to get to but to me it tasted better. Maybe it was just that I appreciated being enfolded in the branches of these sacred majestic trees, but there was something special about the fruit that was out of reach to most. Maybe the tree reserved this fruit to feed and nourish the birds I thought, because surely a lot of this fruit would never be harvestable by mere humans. I harvest 6-8 times more fruit that day than any of those silly kids, and I know I had a wholly different experience than they did with the harvest. To me being there was sacred and magical. The moment is imprinted on my heart.
It is funny looking at life, how often do we as humans harvest only the low lying fruit and neglect to seek out and harvest that which lies out of easy reach, but is still just as obtainable with a little more effort. Let me share a parable of a Gardener.\
There was a man who bought a little home that had small yard. The man loved the house from the moment he first saw it and since it was priced within his budget he was willing to overlook the fact that it backed up to a busy thoroughfare and bus stop. He moved in and loved the house with all his heart and took pride in making the home more beautiful. He went to the nursery and bought a lovely apricot tree and planted it in the sunniest spot in the little yard, which just happened to be right against the back wall, in front of the bus stop. He thought it quite a clever spot as it would hopefully grow big enough one day to block out his view of the bus stop that he could see just over the top of his five foot fence. He planted the small tree with all the love and care that any good gardener could give it and even built a little flower bed around its base and filled it with blooming annuals. The tree slowly but surely grew and grew and grew.
The first couple of years the little tree produced only a few apricots, which the gardener easily picked and quickly consumed. Each year the meager harvest increased only slightly. Because he was so eager for the tree to produce more, he failed to thin the meager fruit while it was young and as the apricots ripened they bent the immature branches down. The gardener although proficient with annuals and that, had always lived in an apartment before and therefore knew nothing of pruning and thinning fruit trees, but still the little tree received plenty of nutrients, water, sun and love and therefore decided to thrive. Since the yard was so small the house shaded most of the little yard and the little tree naturally seeking and reaching for the light, reached ever so slightly towards the little bus stop and over the back fence. As the tree matured it soon had a majority of its boughs over the back fence and now provided a comfortable shade for the little bus stop along the busy thoroughfare. The gardener was pleased with the tree’s progress and this particular year the spring bloom of the little apricot trees was incredible. The white blooms filled the sky from the little window in the back of the house. They floated to the ground and blanket the yard with white fragrant petals. The gardener knew that this was going to be the year the fruit’s of his labor for all these years would be rewarded. The fruit set on, and as usual the gardener could not bear to thin out any of the young fruit. As it ripened the boughs of the tree became more and more burdened and the weight of all this bumper crop of fruit on the young limbs pulled them all downward. The fruit started to ripen in the sun but the gardener soon realized there was a new threat to this crop, the patrons of the little bus stop. As they waited in the shade of the tree it just seemed they could not help but to help themselves the yellowing fruit. At first he was amused watching them pluck the still unripe fruit and watching the looks on their faces as they realized it was not yet ripe and grimaced. It was cute the first few times but then he started to get annoyed by the casual waste of the fruit he had now prepared years to harvest. Occasionally he would run out and yell at the people to stop stealing his fruit. This didn’t help as he couldn’t police the fruit tree all day and sometimes after antagonizing the patrons the kids would pluck the fruit and use it to pelt the gardener’s house. Oh the waste of his harvest. With the majority of the tree hanging over the fence, and now with the harvest ripe, the weight of all that fruit only exaggerated this problem and the tree practically uprooted itself leaning over the short fence. The gardener went out and harvested in minutes the few low limbs on his side of the fence. He walked around to the bus stop side of the fence and was instantly dismayed. Half eaten fruit lay all over the ground and some of the branches on this side were so heavy they had broken. Other branches had been pulled down on to get to the fruit and badly broken off. On this side of the fence all the low lying fruit had been stripped off and mostly wasted. There was not one ripe apricot left within reach from the ground. The gardener was very sad. He thought to himself, “They have wasted my entire bumper crop harvest.” Then he looked up. “Wow,” he thought. Up in the top of the little tree it was orange with fruit still. He went back to his little house and retrieved his ladder and walked back around to the bus stop. He climbed up the ladder and filled three buckets with apricots from his little lovely tree. He took them home and ate a few and then made for the first time, apricot jelly. He filled his cupboard and even had enough to give to all his neighbors. He was thrilled. The extra effort had left him with the reward he had sought for so many years as the little tree had grown. Even without the low lying easy to reach fruit he had obtained what his heart had yearned for, and now having climbed the ladder he had seen and appreciated the growth of the tree in a completely new way. Cupboards full he enjoyed that jam for the rest of the year until the tree produced again. The top of that little tree kept the little gardener in jelly for the rest of his years in the house he loved.
I have heard people lament that they have not found their prince or princess charming and that therefore they must not exists or there must not be any good ones left. “All the good ones are already taken,” is a common expression one hears muttered in bitterness. Laughable to me as this is, it’s sadly too many a person’s belief. They all seek the low lying fruit which they sadly only see in someone else’s hand, the hand of someone who has actually gone and harvest from the tree of life. Some fail to even get off their computers, or to leave their house to ever even see if there any low lying fruit left. Others make it to the tree only to find, as the gardener in the parable, that the low lying branches had been stripped and the fruit casually wasted by the unworthy masses. . Often, like in the parable, the low lying fruit is harvested even before it has fully ripened because the untrained passersby sees a spot of color and picks the fruit takes a bite, realizes it’s not ripe and tosses it along the road. So much of the low lying fruit is plucked before its prime. The gardener that refuses to climb the ladder and scale a few branches will easily be disappointed and say, “This tree produces not enough”, or “the fruit is not good”. But the gardener that is willing to put in a little more effort, take a few more chances and invest a little hard work and time, will still, despite the fickle passersby, be able to harvest a sweet and savory bounty. Great things, good things, are rarely placed easily in our reach as we walk through and discover the orchards of life, sometimes we luck out and stubble across the undiscovered low lying limb full of good fruit but often we have to be willing to look up, reach higher, and work harder, to discover the true bounty of the harvest.
Go out into your yard or a park and stand at the base of a large tree and look up. How much of the tree is out of your reach? What percentage would you say statefully stands out of your reach? This is the magic of trees. They are never satisfied with mediocrity; they are always reaching further in hopes of capturing all the rays of the sun possible. If you feel the bounty of your life’s harvest is poor, look up, climb up, reach up, and you will soon find that there is a lot more tree to be harvested and discovered in your life yet. Standing on the ground it is easy to forget, but climb up a big tree just a bit and you soon realize they are even bigger once you get in them than they appear from the ground. Life will occasionally provide is with a low lying limb full of fruit, but the only harvest that will fill the bottles in the cupboard and feed the neighbors is found by harvesting the whole of the tree…reaching for the fruit that is out of reach.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
The Race - Poetry of Life Series
The Race
11/25/08
By Todd Royce Gubler
Seasons and times, they all have their place
People so busy clamoring to win the human race
Deadlines and duties, bills, e-mails and blogs
Running and rushing avoiding life’s hindering logs
Holidays, commercial devoid of traditional charm
Buying and spending, it will only cost you an arm
Churches with callings reminding we are never enough
Doing, doing, doing. Wow this sure makes life rough
Wishes and wants, needs and desires,
Hurry, oh hurry to put out another fire
Stretched, pulled, and ripped in every which way
How many kind words will you forget to say
How many in sadness have you today rushed by
Giving not a notice and only your exhausted sigh
Love now past due, final noticed, and shut down
Spirits left on curb sides unnoticed now only frown
Kind words and actions, You too busy could not give
May have meant lifelines, how many now did not live?
Stop my child and listen, look and truly see
The race cannot be one by one but all humanity
Stop and help your neighbor, smile at someone new
Listen to the unsaid, see another’s point of view
Lift and help the fallen, bind and aide their ills
Drop your opinions and consider how others now must feel
Drop in and make true connection, instead of texting, call
Reach out for once with actions, they speak louder than all
The race may run by you and you should let it run, run, run
They will all be clamoring but you will be able to appreciate the sun
Slow down my child and listen, angels speak only when we are still
As I have Loved YOU, Love one ANOTHER, This is God’s only WILL
11/25/08
By Todd Royce Gubler
Seasons and times, they all have their place
People so busy clamoring to win the human race
Deadlines and duties, bills, e-mails and blogs
Running and rushing avoiding life’s hindering logs
Holidays, commercial devoid of traditional charm
Buying and spending, it will only cost you an arm
Churches with callings reminding we are never enough
Doing, doing, doing. Wow this sure makes life rough
Wishes and wants, needs and desires,
Hurry, oh hurry to put out another fire
Stretched, pulled, and ripped in every which way
How many kind words will you forget to say
How many in sadness have you today rushed by
Giving not a notice and only your exhausted sigh
Love now past due, final noticed, and shut down
Spirits left on curb sides unnoticed now only frown
Kind words and actions, You too busy could not give
May have meant lifelines, how many now did not live?
Stop my child and listen, look and truly see
The race cannot be one by one but all humanity
Stop and help your neighbor, smile at someone new
Listen to the unsaid, see another’s point of view
Lift and help the fallen, bind and aide their ills
Drop your opinions and consider how others now must feel
Drop in and make true connection, instead of texting, call
Reach out for once with actions, they speak louder than all
The race may run by you and you should let it run, run, run
They will all be clamoring but you will be able to appreciate the sun
Slow down my child and listen, angels speak only when we are still
As I have Loved YOU, Love one ANOTHER, This is God’s only WILL
Monday, October 6, 2008
The Recieving Garden - Chapter 4 - Part 5
The Vision of The Garden of My Heart seemed to be on continuous play in my mind. It effected all that I did and for another two years the dream seemed to influence every aspect of my life. No matter what I was experiencing of going through the Garden had the answer in form of symbolism and it was if all I needed was continually waiting there in bounty to be harvested. Here is an exert from my journal showing the Garden, and my, progress:
4/3/04
It is time to visit the Garden. It is such a wonderful Saturday morning. It’s a slow gentle rain today. I absolutely love the rain. It completely inspires me. The Garden has been a continual part of my thought process now for close to two years. I have been reading and rereading the original dream this month and I am finding it even more meaningful and clear now than ever. I am in mood right now though, and I feel the need to express the current condition of the Garden.
Ah what an entrance. The remodel and redesign of the Garden entrance was in retrospect a stroke of genius. It welcomes people into this, my Holy of Holies, with out letting them all the way in. The sign above the main gate welcomes all, and many have come to feast there eyes, hearts and souls on the delights of my Garden. The Asian themed reflecting Garden just inside has been met with herald. The peace and comfort people feel here I can see is really touching them and I am loving the fact that my garden (i.e. my persona) can have such a healing and enlighten effect on people. The nice thing though is the new design lets people in only to this point and the elegant Temple Gate quietly guards and protects the majority of the Garden's beauty and power. I let very few venture through these gates. Many I see, as I sit from the watch tower and oversee the affairs of my Garden, come into this reflection area and are so completely overwhelmed they rush to put there name on the list to enter deeper and meet the Gardener. This was a bit overwhelming at first as I was shocked at how much interest there suddenly was in my work. I did let a few venture further right off the bat but in retrospect that was a mistake. For many the work on the other side of the Temple Gate was, despite them saying they were ready, far too much for their senses to handle. Although it was something they all professed to want I found that opening the Temple Gate too early left them facing a reality that most were incapable of coping with. But keeping people out of the Garden altogether does not serve the Garden or the Gardener either so the receiving area serves its purpose well and gives all that feel so inclined to venture in an opportunity to come in and receive the gift of the Garden that is Me without having to expose all of the Garden or Myself. It fulfills many who enters curiosity and still heals the hearts of many, some even complete strangers, but the Gardener is now somewhat protected from being overwhelmed with visitors as only a select few are invited to come explore the Garden deeper and this only after the Gardener as ascertained they are truly ready to receive more.
As one can see the Garden and the Gardener had come along way by this point. All was well. All was progressing. All was as it should be and I was at my pinnacle of inspiration. I felt I had been riding a magical wave and as if ALL WAS POSSIBLE. I knew God loved me and I knew that the Garden had been given to me as a gift to remind me of this love. The Garden was flourishing.
4/3/04
It is time to visit the Garden. It is such a wonderful Saturday morning. It’s a slow gentle rain today. I absolutely love the rain. It completely inspires me. The Garden has been a continual part of my thought process now for close to two years. I have been reading and rereading the original dream this month and I am finding it even more meaningful and clear now than ever. I am in mood right now though, and I feel the need to express the current condition of the Garden.
Ah what an entrance. The remodel and redesign of the Garden entrance was in retrospect a stroke of genius. It welcomes people into this, my Holy of Holies, with out letting them all the way in. The sign above the main gate welcomes all, and many have come to feast there eyes, hearts and souls on the delights of my Garden. The Asian themed reflecting Garden just inside has been met with herald. The peace and comfort people feel here I can see is really touching them and I am loving the fact that my garden (i.e. my persona) can have such a healing and enlighten effect on people. The nice thing though is the new design lets people in only to this point and the elegant Temple Gate quietly guards and protects the majority of the Garden's beauty and power. I let very few venture through these gates. Many I see, as I sit from the watch tower and oversee the affairs of my Garden, come into this reflection area and are so completely overwhelmed they rush to put there name on the list to enter deeper and meet the Gardener. This was a bit overwhelming at first as I was shocked at how much interest there suddenly was in my work. I did let a few venture further right off the bat but in retrospect that was a mistake. For many the work on the other side of the Temple Gate was, despite them saying they were ready, far too much for their senses to handle. Although it was something they all professed to want I found that opening the Temple Gate too early left them facing a reality that most were incapable of coping with. But keeping people out of the Garden altogether does not serve the Garden or the Gardener either so the receiving area serves its purpose well and gives all that feel so inclined to venture in an opportunity to come in and receive the gift of the Garden that is Me without having to expose all of the Garden or Myself. It fulfills many who enters curiosity and still heals the hearts of many, some even complete strangers, but the Gardener is now somewhat protected from being overwhelmed with visitors as only a select few are invited to come explore the Garden deeper and this only after the Gardener as ascertained they are truly ready to receive more.
As one can see the Garden and the Gardener had come along way by this point. All was well. All was progressing. All was as it should be and I was at my pinnacle of inspiration. I felt I had been riding a magical wave and as if ALL WAS POSSIBLE. I knew God loved me and I knew that the Garden had been given to me as a gift to remind me of this love. The Garden was flourishing.
Cherished Blessings - Chapter 4 Part 4
Revisiting the garden again had almost as powerful effect on me as the first visit. There was something about being in nature that weekend that made it so easy to just stay in the moment of the dream and really ponder the depth of its meaning. It seemed every tree I saw or each encounter with the wildlife was a direct interaction and personal message from God. This vision like the first one was far more detailed than I can justly express in writing and I saw far more of the Garden then just the areas I have written about.
The Garden Experience had become my most cherished blessing and I felt I had reached a level of joy and self acceptance that I had never dreamed possible. I had such a love of self and others, everything that I encountered throughout the day seemed to remind me of who I was and what I was to become. Simple details of everyday life touched me and I found that I felt others joy and pain before they even expressed it outwardly. I was experiencing the highest level of inspiration and joy I had ever felt in my life. I would think I am as inspired as I can possibly be and then something new would come to me or I would receive another piece of the vision and again I would find myself soaring over a new peak. I can truly say I have never felt more in touch with God or my Angels than I did during that year, 2002. I would rush to therapy to go over the details of these new visits to the Garden with Margaret. She got it. She seemed to feed on the excitement and inspiration of the dream as well. This amazing level of inspiration felt to good to be true but also seemed on a constant climb with no limit to the level of consciousness and inspiration I was being allowed to receive. I found myself almost continually in deep thought and it was one of the deepest years of my life.
11/6/02
The Garden Experience had become my most cherished blessing and I felt I had reached a level of joy and self acceptance that I had never dreamed possible. I had such a love of self and others, everything that I encountered throughout the day seemed to remind me of who I was and what I was to become. Simple details of everyday life touched me and I found that I felt others joy and pain before they even expressed it outwardly. I was experiencing the highest level of inspiration and joy I had ever felt in my life. I would think I am as inspired as I can possibly be and then something new would come to me or I would receive another piece of the vision and again I would find myself soaring over a new peak. I can truly say I have never felt more in touch with God or my Angels than I did during that year, 2002. I would rush to therapy to go over the details of these new visits to the Garden with Margaret. She got it. She seemed to feed on the excitement and inspiration of the dream as well. This amazing level of inspiration felt to good to be true but also seemed on a constant climb with no limit to the level of consciousness and inspiration I was being allowed to receive. I found myself almost continually in deep thought and it was one of the deepest years of my life.
11/6/02
Saturday, July 26, 2008
The Second Vision - Chapter 4 - Part -3
The Second Garden Dream
Well I know the lane well now that leads to my Garden. I come here so often now and things are coming along nicely. I have been so busy cleaning and pruning and planning though that I feel I need to walk the Garden and document its progress.
As I walk up I notice the side walks are now spotless and all the moss and debris has been methodically cleared. The ivy walls are now neatly sheared and where there are bare spots, wire has been strung and new vines are being encouraged to cover them up. The trees are still beautiful and look even taller and statelier now that they have been trimmed and manicured. Impatiens and coleus have been planted and are thriving in their shade. This makes the whole entrance so much more inviting and breaks up the green monotony. The Gated entrance once covered and hidden is now quite prominent and inviting. The trees have been trimmed back just enough to let the light shine through very prominently here. There is a series of pots placed on each side with a stunning display of colorful floral draping down there sides and beckoning all that saunter down the lane to take notice. On the wall on each side of the massive gates are lion head fountains spitting water gracefully into marble bowls. The limestone casing of the gate shows now and arches gracefully above the gate framing it quite nicely. There are plans for an inscription there soon, but for now a copper plate has been hung in the center and it reads, “All are welcome to enter in Peace.” The gates themselves are quite exquisite. The have an ornate oak leaf pattern scrolled trough them. They are unlocked now and have been oiled so they open with ease and silence. Walking in the arch is actually a tunnel covered for about 15 feet or so. At the end of the tunnel there is now a sign that reads, “Please pardon the dust, Reflection Garden under Construction”. There is a table with blueprints laid out. This is the site of the new reception space of the Garden where guests may wait, relax and prepare for the rest of the Garden experience. A large Oriental type structure is being built at one end and a large pond is being dug out in preparation of the future reflecting pond. This will reflect and amplify the surrounding beauty of the landscape and add the soothing element of water to this sacred space. Guest will soon be able to sit at its banks and reflect and ponder. There will be a gravel path so guests can slowly meander around the pond and there is even a bridge being built to give guests a view from the center of the quiet pool.
The new building will serve as the new Main Gate to the true garden that is now safely behind its framed walls. Two large stone Phu Dogs have already been placed on each side of the main steps leading to the Oriental Gate House. They are there to forcefully invite all evil to leave the reflection garden and forbid evil from ever making it into the sacred garden behind them. Most of the large trees and boulders are already planted and in place now. But despite this it is still very much a work in progress and is therefore not operational by any means yet. The new Guard gate, though not finished, is completely operational and is serving its purpose well. The large ornate doors are in place and stand locked. There is a small polite signs that reads, “Please sign the registration log and wait patiently, and the Host of the Garden will be with you soon.” There is a bench there to sit on but since the space is still undergoing so much work its not entirely relaxing yet.
As I unlock the new gates and walk inside the framed building it is sheeted with plastic to hide the construction going on inside the building and to quickly guide you through to the other exit. As I walk out the back of the new structure I step out onto a very French looking patio area raised about 5 feet higher than the surrounding landscape. From this patio I am directly in front of the lovely swan fountain that marks the center of the garden. It has now been gilded in gold and has the most amazing display of flowers around its base. It seems to glow now. It is an absolutely breathtaking centerpiece. It stands there now with an encircling polished granite path. Large fir trees have been added now and enclose this grand area and seem to frame three separate entrances into the North, East, and West Gardens. The patio I stand on acts as the entrance to the South Garden that will soon be the reflection area. This area has been transformed into an impressive courtyard and is quite manicured and complete. The patio has wide gentle steps that invite you to descend toward the fountain. I am quite pleased with the progress of this part of the garden.
I continue into the Garden and up the path toward the North Garden, the Rose Garden. The newly added fir trees block one from seeing this garden from the patio so you must wander around the fountain and up through the fir canopy. An arch has been carefully trimmed in the large firs to create a natural entrance to the Rose Garden. As I walk through the arch is obvious this part of the Garden is also under major renovation. There are piles of leaves and branches, weeds and debris heaped here and there amongst the garden. It seems that the front fourth of the great raised rose bed has been thoroughly weeded and prepared. It actually looks quite sparse in this quarter since there are only a few roses left in this space. Now that that section has been weeded it has maybe 8 or 9 roses in a space of over 100 feet long. The few roses that remained have been cut way back and fertilized and have had the soil worked around their bases. Also the Cypress and Ewe shrubs in this front quarter of this Garden had been neatly trimmed and sheared to absolute perfection. The bulbs in the side gardens have also been pulled up, thinned and neatly replanted and labels have been placed to show what was planted where. Truly the garden looked a bit stark and naked but you could tell it was receiving a lot of care and thought and would soon be something quite spectacular again. Now the remaining three quarters were still quite a mess and in need of the same attention as the front although at the back the large wisteria had been carefully pruned back. Only a couple had survived and were in the process of growing back and where the others had failed new ones had been planted and were being trained up the columns. Sprinklers and hoses ran here and there through out the garden though, ensuring that all plants that have survived were now flourishing. There were forms placed along the path where urns and lights would soon be added and from the valance of the trellis large pots of hanging geraniums were a burst of pink color in front of the impressive valley in the beyond. The pillars had all been power washed and were once again powder white. The area still needed a ton of work but it was looking like someone now cared.
Well I know the lane well now that leads to my Garden. I come here so often now and things are coming along nicely. I have been so busy cleaning and pruning and planning though that I feel I need to walk the Garden and document its progress.
As I walk up I notice the side walks are now spotless and all the moss and debris has been methodically cleared. The ivy walls are now neatly sheared and where there are bare spots, wire has been strung and new vines are being encouraged to cover them up. The trees are still beautiful and look even taller and statelier now that they have been trimmed and manicured. Impatiens and coleus have been planted and are thriving in their shade. This makes the whole entrance so much more inviting and breaks up the green monotony. The Gated entrance once covered and hidden is now quite prominent and inviting. The trees have been trimmed back just enough to let the light shine through very prominently here. There is a series of pots placed on each side with a stunning display of colorful floral draping down there sides and beckoning all that saunter down the lane to take notice. On the wall on each side of the massive gates are lion head fountains spitting water gracefully into marble bowls. The limestone casing of the gate shows now and arches gracefully above the gate framing it quite nicely. There are plans for an inscription there soon, but for now a copper plate has been hung in the center and it reads, “All are welcome to enter in Peace.” The gates themselves are quite exquisite. The have an ornate oak leaf pattern scrolled trough them. They are unlocked now and have been oiled so they open with ease and silence. Walking in the arch is actually a tunnel covered for about 15 feet or so. At the end of the tunnel there is now a sign that reads, “Please pardon the dust, Reflection Garden under Construction”. There is a table with blueprints laid out. This is the site of the new reception space of the Garden where guests may wait, relax and prepare for the rest of the Garden experience. A large Oriental type structure is being built at one end and a large pond is being dug out in preparation of the future reflecting pond. This will reflect and amplify the surrounding beauty of the landscape and add the soothing element of water to this sacred space. Guest will soon be able to sit at its banks and reflect and ponder. There will be a gravel path so guests can slowly meander around the pond and there is even a bridge being built to give guests a view from the center of the quiet pool.
The new building will serve as the new Main Gate to the true garden that is now safely behind its framed walls. Two large stone Phu Dogs have already been placed on each side of the main steps leading to the Oriental Gate House. They are there to forcefully invite all evil to leave the reflection garden and forbid evil from ever making it into the sacred garden behind them. Most of the large trees and boulders are already planted and in place now. But despite this it is still very much a work in progress and is therefore not operational by any means yet. The new Guard gate, though not finished, is completely operational and is serving its purpose well. The large ornate doors are in place and stand locked. There is a small polite signs that reads, “Please sign the registration log and wait patiently, and the Host of the Garden will be with you soon.” There is a bench there to sit on but since the space is still undergoing so much work its not entirely relaxing yet.
As I unlock the new gates and walk inside the framed building it is sheeted with plastic to hide the construction going on inside the building and to quickly guide you through to the other exit. As I walk out the back of the new structure I step out onto a very French looking patio area raised about 5 feet higher than the surrounding landscape. From this patio I am directly in front of the lovely swan fountain that marks the center of the garden. It has now been gilded in gold and has the most amazing display of flowers around its base. It seems to glow now. It is an absolutely breathtaking centerpiece. It stands there now with an encircling polished granite path. Large fir trees have been added now and enclose this grand area and seem to frame three separate entrances into the North, East, and West Gardens. The patio I stand on acts as the entrance to the South Garden that will soon be the reflection area. This area has been transformed into an impressive courtyard and is quite manicured and complete. The patio has wide gentle steps that invite you to descend toward the fountain. I am quite pleased with the progress of this part of the garden.
I continue into the Garden and up the path toward the North Garden, the Rose Garden. The newly added fir trees block one from seeing this garden from the patio so you must wander around the fountain and up through the fir canopy. An arch has been carefully trimmed in the large firs to create a natural entrance to the Rose Garden. As I walk through the arch is obvious this part of the Garden is also under major renovation. There are piles of leaves and branches, weeds and debris heaped here and there amongst the garden. It seems that the front fourth of the great raised rose bed has been thoroughly weeded and prepared. It actually looks quite sparse in this quarter since there are only a few roses left in this space. Now that that section has been weeded it has maybe 8 or 9 roses in a space of over 100 feet long. The few roses that remained have been cut way back and fertilized and have had the soil worked around their bases. Also the Cypress and Ewe shrubs in this front quarter of this Garden had been neatly trimmed and sheared to absolute perfection. The bulbs in the side gardens have also been pulled up, thinned and neatly replanted and labels have been placed to show what was planted where. Truly the garden looked a bit stark and naked but you could tell it was receiving a lot of care and thought and would soon be something quite spectacular again. Now the remaining three quarters were still quite a mess and in need of the same attention as the front although at the back the large wisteria had been carefully pruned back. Only a couple had survived and were in the process of growing back and where the others had failed new ones had been planted and were being trained up the columns. Sprinklers and hoses ran here and there through out the garden though, ensuring that all plants that have survived were now flourishing. There were forms placed along the path where urns and lights would soon be added and from the valance of the trellis large pots of hanging geraniums were a burst of pink color in front of the impressive valley in the beyond. The pillars had all been power washed and were once again powder white. The area still needed a ton of work but it was looking like someone now cared.
Climbing the Mountain- Chapter 4 - Part 2
This Entry garden started to become realized in both my real world and my symbolic garden world. This culminated in a second vision on a camping trip I took to Mack’s Canyon in the Mountains just outside of Las Vegas.
July 27th, 2002
Well after a stressful start the day is suddenly surprisingly peaceful. I made it to my destination and it is even prettier than I remember. I have set up camp between two small seeping springs. I just hiked up a very steep hill behind the bigger of the two springs. I didn’t go to the top, but stopped half way up at a large boulder. There I sat and marveled at the absolute stillness. There was just the slightest breeze and I received a distinct impression that Harmony ruled the grand scene. The tall pines slowly swayed and the view across the canyon was absolutely inspiring. I just sat there with my friend in silence drinking it all into my soul, savoring each detail. I feel like my soul is recharging. As we stood and started to descend a thought pierced my consciousness. I was aware of how light and graceful my body seemed going down the steep and precarious terrain. I notice my friend seemed to be having quite a difficult time. I knew at that moment that my spirit had specifically chosen this body and I felt very pleased. It was weird because all my insecurities and hang-ups about my body seemed to instantly melt away at the realization that I chose me. And that I did. With the Divine assistance of God I was instrumental in creating myself. I was a creation of both He and I. It’s hard to explain but I just felt an overpowering sense of completeness, Divinity, and Joy. I also marveled today at the power of stillness. There is something so Divine and powerful in just being still. I though how all these trees just sat and were still and how divine that must be to just be at peace and just to stay still. I am feeling it is time to go visit the Garden of my Heart.
July 27th, 2002
Well after a stressful start the day is suddenly surprisingly peaceful. I made it to my destination and it is even prettier than I remember. I have set up camp between two small seeping springs. I just hiked up a very steep hill behind the bigger of the two springs. I didn’t go to the top, but stopped half way up at a large boulder. There I sat and marveled at the absolute stillness. There was just the slightest breeze and I received a distinct impression that Harmony ruled the grand scene. The tall pines slowly swayed and the view across the canyon was absolutely inspiring. I just sat there with my friend in silence drinking it all into my soul, savoring each detail. I feel like my soul is recharging. As we stood and started to descend a thought pierced my consciousness. I was aware of how light and graceful my body seemed going down the steep and precarious terrain. I notice my friend seemed to be having quite a difficult time. I knew at that moment that my spirit had specifically chosen this body and I felt very pleased. It was weird because all my insecurities and hang-ups about my body seemed to instantly melt away at the realization that I chose me. And that I did. With the Divine assistance of God I was instrumental in creating myself. I was a creation of both He and I. It’s hard to explain but I just felt an overpowering sense of completeness, Divinity, and Joy. I also marveled today at the power of stillness. There is something so Divine and powerful in just being still. I though how all these trees just sat and were still and how divine that must be to just be at peace and just to stay still. I am feeling it is time to go visit the Garden of my Heart.
The Remodeling Begins - Chapter 4 - Part 1
You may notice I jumped most of Chapter 3. It is still unfinished but Chapter 4 is ready to be published. Stay tuned.
The Dream seemed to consume my every thought from this point. I would drive around town trying to focus on my job, but my mind constantly wished to dwell on the details of the garden and I wanted to begin transforming and redesigning this masterpiece which is me. I wrote the following a week and a half after the original dream.
June 11th, 2002
The Garden of my Heart dream has been with me constantly now for a week and a half. I have been thinking a lot about the entrance. The Garden needs to be accessible to others, yet guarded from those who might try to destroy it. I am thinking of leaving the main gate unlocked, during business hours of course, and building a small receiving garden just inside. This would be a place with benches and such, simple in design, maybe somewhat of a Zen Garden. People could enter here and wait and relax and meditate and prepare to be invited in to the Garden for a tour or journey. I am thinking the secondary gate will be a Chinese Gate House with two large Phu Dogs standing as sentinels and guarding against any evil.
This entry has particularly special meaning as one of the things I immediately encountered after the original vision was a wave of new opportunities. It was as if finding myself through the Garden Vision, I had dropped my mask and I was now exposed to the world as I truly was. Instead of people being harsh and judgmental I was amazed to find that people were actually drawn to me. It was almost as if I had become magnetized and people seemed drawn to the energy around me. It would seem this would be a good thing, but I also found that although people were initially drawn in by the new open, vulnerable me, they were also unwilling to be as open in return and in time my openness became a weapon they would use to try to put me down. I found it to be like system overload for most. They wanted to know me but since I was so open they were unable to process all that I was willing to give. Many seemed to wander into the garden, mesmerized by it and then after seeing only the first few feet they would want to say they knew and understood the complexity of the Garden. Being that I was the Garden’s designer and caretaker and that I was still discovering the Garden myself I was sometimes hurt that people would want to say they knew me after such a short journey. To know me, or anyone, should be a true journey, a discovery expedition that one looses themselves in. Anyway to say the least, I, within a week realized the garden need a few layers to let people inside, but in an orderly and planned way. Hence the idea of creating a symbolic waiting room or preview garden, to prepare kindred souls for a deeper journey and as a warm welcome center to those that would not need to venture further.
And so the overdue remodel and rediscovery of the Garden Began.
The Dream seemed to consume my every thought from this point. I would drive around town trying to focus on my job, but my mind constantly wished to dwell on the details of the garden and I wanted to begin transforming and redesigning this masterpiece which is me. I wrote the following a week and a half after the original dream.
June 11th, 2002
The Garden of my Heart dream has been with me constantly now for a week and a half. I have been thinking a lot about the entrance. The Garden needs to be accessible to others, yet guarded from those who might try to destroy it. I am thinking of leaving the main gate unlocked, during business hours of course, and building a small receiving garden just inside. This would be a place with benches and such, simple in design, maybe somewhat of a Zen Garden. People could enter here and wait and relax and meditate and prepare to be invited in to the Garden for a tour or journey. I am thinking the secondary gate will be a Chinese Gate House with two large Phu Dogs standing as sentinels and guarding against any evil.
This entry has particularly special meaning as one of the things I immediately encountered after the original vision was a wave of new opportunities. It was as if finding myself through the Garden Vision, I had dropped my mask and I was now exposed to the world as I truly was. Instead of people being harsh and judgmental I was amazed to find that people were actually drawn to me. It was almost as if I had become magnetized and people seemed drawn to the energy around me. It would seem this would be a good thing, but I also found that although people were initially drawn in by the new open, vulnerable me, they were also unwilling to be as open in return and in time my openness became a weapon they would use to try to put me down. I found it to be like system overload for most. They wanted to know me but since I was so open they were unable to process all that I was willing to give. Many seemed to wander into the garden, mesmerized by it and then after seeing only the first few feet they would want to say they knew and understood the complexity of the Garden. Being that I was the Garden’s designer and caretaker and that I was still discovering the Garden myself I was sometimes hurt that people would want to say they knew me after such a short journey. To know me, or anyone, should be a true journey, a discovery expedition that one looses themselves in. Anyway to say the least, I, within a week realized the garden need a few layers to let people inside, but in an orderly and planned way. Hence the idea of creating a symbolic waiting room or preview garden, to prepare kindred souls for a deeper journey and as a warm welcome center to those that would not need to venture further.
And so the overdue remodel and rediscovery of the Garden Began.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Leaving the Garden - Chapter 3 - Part 1
Oh the memory of this great vision. Even now many years later as I sit and reread my original writings of this dream my heart is filled with joy. I saw so much of the garden that day and each and every plant, rock, building, or artifact is still firmly etched into the essence of my soul. My tour left me excited and thankful that I had returned to this, my most sacred space. At the same time I was also left feeling very remorseful for having neglected this space and letting it fall into such poor repair. I longed to restore the Garden of My Heart to a yet unfulfilled glory that I knew was possible.
I do not remember the journey back from the Garden that day I just remember suddenly being acutely aware that I was back inside my body still sitting in that warm Jacuzzi at the health club. As I returned to realization of my surroundings I felt like I had been away from my body in this spiritual state for days, but it had only been about an hour. I find even as I write this that my heart continues to remember exactly step for step sequences from this vision of my Garden. I know where each plant is and what it represents. I know all the paths and intricate details of all the surroundings. It amazes me that one short vision could remain in my conscience so long and with such vivid detail. I dressed and left the gym savoring the experience in my heart. As I drove home I was left in awe of what had just happened to me. I knew that I was loved and that God was very aware of me. That is something all humanity needs to feel more regularly, God’s unconditional and total LOVE.
Everyday that week it was as if the dream consumed my every thought. I would reflect on the dream and it seemed the more I thought about it the clearer I was about what everything stood for and what everything meant. The vision had so many important messages for me and answered so many questions. Each of the plants represented a person, place or experienced that I had treasured. Everything in that garden held symbolism of cherished blessings and loved ones. The Garden was my soul. The state of the garden represented the state I had let my soul fall into. By masking myself and who I really was I had symbolically closed up the garden, locked the gates and thrown away the key, thus leaving behind an exquisite creation that had taken me most likely many lifetimes to create and plan. Every time I thought about the garden I became more resolute not to ever leave my sacred space for so long, and to never take for granted the beauty that truly was me. The Garden Vision that day left me changed forever for the good.
I do not remember the journey back from the Garden that day I just remember suddenly being acutely aware that I was back inside my body still sitting in that warm Jacuzzi at the health club. As I returned to realization of my surroundings I felt like I had been away from my body in this spiritual state for days, but it had only been about an hour. I find even as I write this that my heart continues to remember exactly step for step sequences from this vision of my Garden. I know where each plant is and what it represents. I know all the paths and intricate details of all the surroundings. It amazes me that one short vision could remain in my conscience so long and with such vivid detail. I dressed and left the gym savoring the experience in my heart. As I drove home I was left in awe of what had just happened to me. I knew that I was loved and that God was very aware of me. That is something all humanity needs to feel more regularly, God’s unconditional and total LOVE.
Everyday that week it was as if the dream consumed my every thought. I would reflect on the dream and it seemed the more I thought about it the clearer I was about what everything stood for and what everything meant. The vision had so many important messages for me and answered so many questions. Each of the plants represented a person, place or experienced that I had treasured. Everything in that garden held symbolism of cherished blessings and loved ones. The Garden was my soul. The state of the garden represented the state I had let my soul fall into. By masking myself and who I really was I had symbolically closed up the garden, locked the gates and thrown away the key, thus leaving behind an exquisite creation that had taken me most likely many lifetimes to create and plan. Every time I thought about the garden I became more resolute not to ever leave my sacred space for so long, and to never take for granted the beauty that truly was me. The Garden Vision that day left me changed forever for the good.
The West Garden - Chapter 2 - Part 5
The spirit and I finished our tour of the Garden at the West Arch of the Heart of the Garden. Walking through the arch was heartbreaking, for this garden, unlike the East Garden, had failed completely. Neglect and drought had left if deader than dead. Branches and debris from the rest of the garden seemed to have been thrown in here and it truly appeared to be more of a refuse dump than garden. It was a massive space completely wasted and the only life in it was noxious weeds and thistle.
My heart broke to see this, the most neglected garden, as it just proved how long it had been since I had paid any attention or love to this place. Unlike the North garden, there were no signs of life and truly this garden was going to have to be cleared, redesigned, and completely re-landscaped. The Spirit seemed to sense my despair and lovingly said, “It’s an opportunity not an end.” With that my heart lifted. I immediately stopped seeing what is wasn’t, alive, and started seeing what it could be. It was a massive space with rolling hills, great boulders, definitely a place that could be dramatic someday. I said, “I will have a lot to add to this space soon.
My heart broke to see this, the most neglected garden, as it just proved how long it had been since I had paid any attention or love to this place. Unlike the North garden, there were no signs of life and truly this garden was going to have to be cleared, redesigned, and completely re-landscaped. The Spirit seemed to sense my despair and lovingly said, “It’s an opportunity not an end.” With that my heart lifted. I immediately stopped seeing what is wasn’t, alive, and started seeing what it could be. It was a massive space with rolling hills, great boulders, definitely a place that could be dramatic someday. I said, “I will have a lot to add to this space soon.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Reflections - Poetry of Life Series
Wrtten May 10th, 2000
Manzanillo, Mexico
Puerta Serena, Blue Bay Village
Eyes open and now I see.
What is this world without little me.
Who would smell th roses? Who would admire the sea?
Would the waves still come in without me there to see?
A comical question. To most just a jest.
But the meaning of my life, is becoming quite a quest.
There must be a reason I am living in the now.
I so desire the answer, but it is evasive somehow.
Eyes now tired. They have sought the answer all day.
Light grows dimmer as night overtakes the sun's last rays.
Will I find the purpose, discovering the equations sum?
Where is the treasure buried and where did it come from?
Eyes are quickly closing as I strain to complete the day.
Softly now reflecting on the complications that have passed my way.
How can I find the reason? How can I know just why?
Eyes close. Chapter closes. Another day has gone by.
Manzanillo, Mexico
Puerta Serena, Blue Bay Village
Eyes open and now I see.
What is this world without little me.
Who would smell th roses? Who would admire the sea?
Would the waves still come in without me there to see?
A comical question. To most just a jest.
But the meaning of my life, is becoming quite a quest.
There must be a reason I am living in the now.
I so desire the answer, but it is evasive somehow.
Eyes now tired. They have sought the answer all day.
Light grows dimmer as night overtakes the sun's last rays.
Will I find the purpose, discovering the equations sum?
Where is the treasure buried and where did it come from?
Eyes are quickly closing as I strain to complete the day.
Softly now reflecting on the complications that have passed my way.
How can I find the reason? How can I know just why?
Eyes close. Chapter closes. Another day has gone by.
The East Garden - Chapter 2 - Part 4
Coming from the elegance and formality of the North Rose Garden we returned through the arch in the hedge to the Heart of the Garden. The elegant fountain’s song welcomed us back to this central point. We proceeded around the fountain and entered the East Arch, entrance to the East Garden.
Upon entering this garden I was amazed at the stark difference in architecture. The East garden was a much simpler garden, free of the formality of the North Rose Garden we had just been in. It was a country garden, full and overflowing with perennials and wildflowers of every kind. This garden had a massive, ancient, knarled tree that was the graceful focal point of this gorgeous garden. It sat slightly to the left side and further to the east end of the garden. Its massive expanse reached over a major portion of the garden and its trunk was twisted and knarled and some if its ancient roots were slightly exposed further indicating its age. I felt instantly that this tree represented the love and wisdom of my dearest kindred spirit of all, my Grandma Gubler, Genevieve. Her branches reached and shaded a massive amount of space and under her protective reach the east garden contained some of the rarest and most amazing specimens of all the gardens. Under her protective care this garden had thrived. Coming into this garden from the East was a small creek that came in on the left and weaved its way playfully through the garden and then split and came around each side of the tree giving it a constant supply of nutrients. The path in this garden was lovely also. Large natural flagstones meandered through amongst all the plantings and it worked its way back to the shade of the massive tree where the stones fanned out to make a small patio area. Where the path came to the creek there were large stones with flat tops in the creek placed just perfectly that made it easy to just walk across the bubbling water.
The East Garden was an area, that despite its neglect, had flourished. Heirloom plants and wildflowers had taken a strong hold here and since the majority of the plantings were tried and true heirlooms they thrived with little care. Snapdragons, simply petunias, large bushes of daiseys, hollyhocks, you name it all the old fashioned favorites bloomed here. The sweet fragrance of this garden was calming and healing. This garden held power. Just entering it was an instant recharge and any of the despair I had felt over the poor condition of other areas of the garden melted away as i strolled through this magical healing place. Genevieve's Garden, the East Garden, was a timeless spot covering the choices part of the entire Garden. Here was where my most cherished memory plants had been grouped.
Upon entering this garden I was amazed at the stark difference in architecture. The East garden was a much simpler garden, free of the formality of the North Rose Garden we had just been in. It was a country garden, full and overflowing with perennials and wildflowers of every kind. This garden had a massive, ancient, knarled tree that was the graceful focal point of this gorgeous garden. It sat slightly to the left side and further to the east end of the garden. Its massive expanse reached over a major portion of the garden and its trunk was twisted and knarled and some if its ancient roots were slightly exposed further indicating its age. I felt instantly that this tree represented the love and wisdom of my dearest kindred spirit of all, my Grandma Gubler, Genevieve. Her branches reached and shaded a massive amount of space and under her protective reach the east garden contained some of the rarest and most amazing specimens of all the gardens. Under her protective care this garden had thrived. Coming into this garden from the East was a small creek that came in on the left and weaved its way playfully through the garden and then split and came around each side of the tree giving it a constant supply of nutrients. The path in this garden was lovely also. Large natural flagstones meandered through amongst all the plantings and it worked its way back to the shade of the massive tree where the stones fanned out to make a small patio area. Where the path came to the creek there were large stones with flat tops in the creek placed just perfectly that made it easy to just walk across the bubbling water.
The East Garden was an area, that despite its neglect, had flourished. Heirloom plants and wildflowers had taken a strong hold here and since the majority of the plantings were tried and true heirlooms they thrived with little care. Snapdragons, simply petunias, large bushes of daiseys, hollyhocks, you name it all the old fashioned favorites bloomed here. The sweet fragrance of this garden was calming and healing. This garden held power. Just entering it was an instant recharge and any of the despair I had felt over the poor condition of other areas of the garden melted away as i strolled through this magical healing place. Genevieve's Garden, the East Garden, was a timeless spot covering the choices part of the entire Garden. Here was where my most cherished memory plants had been grouped.
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